I recently got very disappointed in a friend who did not respond the way that I thought she would, or should. I got a new job and I expected a call or tons of questions about the job, but instead I got a half-hearted congrats. I do not think that she meant anything by it, because she is not a jump up and down with excitement kind of person, But to not return a call about it, it kind of hurt me. I am not going to lie. If the shoe were on the other foot, I would be so happy and wanting to know all details. Hell, the shoe has been on the other foot and I was OVERJOYED. But that is just it, we have different styles of love or love languages or whatever you call it.
I am a bit time sharer with people that I love. If you are in my life and I call you a friend, then you are family to me. I do not play games, or have tons of secrets, I am just me and I am very open. I will give the shirt off of my back. I am not needy, I just love to give to people and I love to take care of people by being supportive and helping them in any way that I can. Maybe for some that is overwhelming.
I was raised in a solid background with a family that did not have people in and out of jail or drunks or addicts for relatives. I am from a boring and quiet middle class family that does not want anything from me and is not “out to get me”. I think that people that came up “hard” have a thicker outer skin. They do not share as much. They feel that they have to be more secretive and as a result shut people out without even realizing it. But it kind of hurts a little.
Sound silly that I am speaking about a friendship this way? Sorry if it does, but it is on my heart and when I love, I love deep. That goes for family, friends, romantic interests. And when I am done with someone, I am really really done. So, I pray that things become okay with me and this friend and that I do not start acting different towards this person because that will not help things. AT ALL. But if you ever feel this way and feel this way and feel that you are going above and beyond to be a friend and they are not, pull back and give yourself and that person space.
Maybe God is trying to reveal something to you about the person, maybe God is trying to have you focus more on HIM, or maybe this person is a bit self-centered and there is nothing that you can do to change that. Instead, be around people that want to spend time with you and value you as a person. Do not make yourself so at the ready for these folks, especially if they do not do the same for you.
Good night my friends. Have a Happy MLK Jr holiday tomorrow!!