Well, this newfound self is fab. Lighter mentally, lighter physically and I have an extra skip in my step. But all I want to do is go to dinners and lunches and manis and pedis. I am trying to be a “lady that lunches” when I am really a lady that needs to be punching a time clock:). I have a job, and I am hopefully going on an interview Friday for a part time sales gig. But, I am so into finding my new self and having a life as a person and not just as a mom that I am getting things twisted.
I am trying to plan nights out and weekend trips, which is great, but I have got to slow my roll. I love the fact that I can look at myself and know when enough is enough. I mean I am not being totally irresponsible or anything. Bills are paid. Gas is in the car, food is in the fridge, but I am so excited about venturing out and getting a “life” that I am neglecting the life I have already.
I am losing focus on what is important. I do not mean to, but I am an extremist all or nothing kind of gal. For nearly a decade, I have devoted myself to pregnancy and then motherhood. Now I am wanting to dedicate most of my energy to myself and I think that the people around me are like-“what?” I feel them. I am joining the gym this week, I am about to book Vegas tickets, I haven’t even watched Scandal in a week!
I am ready to live my life and stop fantasizing about other people’s. I think that that is what it boils down to. Literally. I have to realize that just because I have jumped on this “me” bandwagon that everyone else will not ride with me. This total transformation has to be and will be a slow one. I will not lose 45 more pounds over night. I will not find the love of my life over night. And, I will not have fun every single day and be out on the scene.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not dumping my kid to go to clubs or anything. I am just trying to live this fun and exciting lifestyle and I am not really matching it up with funds:) So, I have done a real good job of spending roughly an hour a day on a job search. Thirty minutes to prayer and I am trying to get to the 30 minutes to working out, but I am not there yet. I am too tired when I find the time! Hence the need for the gym. If I pay for it, I will play!
Hope you all have a happy humpday tomorrow and I hope that your weather has settled down a bit like ours has.
Will write soon~