I can’t believe that I am typing this. The girl who started this blog did not have the guts to do something like this. I am a gutsy chick, but I never thought I would go looking for love. I got a new haircut, lost a little weight, and bam! Profile. I have had over 600 hits and around 150 messages. That may be decent, but in this day and age of constant social media and electronics, it could be just average. Either way, it was a bit of an ego boost, I am not going to lie.
One of the first men to message me was my type. Tall, dark and handsome. Gorgeous, successful, etc. I left out one of “my type” characteristics-jerk. I tend to go after players, good-looking men or people who think they are God’s gift. I felt myself beginning to accept what he said. I was letting him call the shots and then I realized that I am a different woman than I was 11 years ago when I last dated. I am a little older, a little wiser, and a hell of a lot more schooled in the ways of men-being married to an adulterer will do that~
So, I decided to put him to the side and talk to a couple of the men that are decent. Good men that may not have the sex appeal, but have the heart appeal. But, some of these men are so serious! They want a wife to be the mother to their kids, or they want an instant and constant companion-they have nothing going on but their search for a woman. Or, they are decent men, but anatomy is still at the forefront of their minds.
Sending me a message how hot or sexy I am does not win brownie points. I want someone who understands that I have a child who is the center of my world. I want a man who can understand that I do not have unlimited time to give them unlimited attention. I used to think that if a guy wanted to be around me all of the time that it was endearing. Now I see that I was with controlling men. They would put me at the center of their lives, pull me away from my life and when they were over “us”, I would be devastated and have no friends available to hang with.
I am a grown woman now with responsibilities and if a man says in his profile that he wants to see his potential life partner everyday, I am not as attracted to that as I used to be. Some men have already given me their numbers for texting and I have had them for days, but I am not sure what I am looking for. I want a man to talk to. I want someone who would like to talk about our lives and what happened at work, or at a social outing. But I am not ready to change my lifestyle upside down for anyone.
So, I am not sure if I should be on this site. Am I wasting people’s time or am I feeding my ego? Well, anyway. I want to keep trying to see what happens but I am having problems trusting in what anyone has to say. So, as I always say, I will step out on faith and hope to hear what God is trying to tell me to do or not to do. Good night my friends and I hope that you have a beautiful and blessed Sunday and week!