I am good at inspiring other people. But I cannot set out my own life plan-why is that?

So, I have been inspired by tv lately. I want to have a career. I want to have excitement. But I do not know how to go about it. Flowchart? Poster board on the kitchen wall writing all of my hopes and dreams and challenges in marker? Or write in chalk on my kid’s easel so that I can change it, or erase it? I have fear. Fear of getting rejected. Flat out fear of falling on my face. Fear that I do not have a lot of work experience when many people my age have been working in a field for 15 or so years. I once again fall back on faith. 

I feel like this is the most pensive I have been in my life. Thinking all of the time and wondering and worrying and dreaming. It is like I am having an out of body experience and I am watching my life. I am critiquing myself as if it is not me. I am in this highly enlightened state and I do not even do drugs and it is not the 60’s and I am not getting a doctorate in philosophy. 

So, why all of the thinking? I do not know if God is bringing something great to me or if God is trying to show me something or show me how to get where I want to go and where He wants me to be. So, my posts may sound a bit redundant. Like a cat chasing its tail, but I am verbally working out all that is in my brain.

So please bear with me as I stumble towards all of this greatness. I have no choice but to believe that all of this unhappiness and uncertainty and much I have been stuck in is for a purpose. 

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinithians 13:13

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