I just found out that a dear friend/family member is in serious condition in the ICU. Thinking of that made me wonder why on earth I care so much about stupid people and situations. Life is fleeting. Another friend of mine and her husband are going through the trenches too. He has leukemia for the 2nd time and just had a bone marrow transplant.
I am worried about employment and money. I do have legitimate concerns. But in the grand scheme of things they are so minuscule. I try so hard to wake up and just be thankful for merely getting the chance at another day. Most of the time I truly am. But I get caught up in crap. Minutiae. As humans, we face tragedy and know that bad things can happen, so why do we do the Bill Murray/Groundhog Day dance and keep repeating the same damned mistakes!
Excuse both my language and my frustration, but I want to be better. I want to be one of those people that is so full of joy that sarcasm would be a distant cousin rather than an immediate family member. I wish to be the kind of person that no one would have anything negative to say about because I am that good of a being.
Are there people actually out there? People that are content with their position in life and only longing to please God? The only person that I can think of besides Jesus of course, is Mother Teresa. She gave up living in the world totally to be with the unloved. The people that many Americans and other cultures would feel were less than.
Was it divine appointment? Or is it that she “got it”. She truly knew what is expected of us in exchange for the gift of life. I do not know that I am capable of getting it that much. I am thankful everyday that I get to spend with my kid and that I have not missed out on one ounce of her childhood. I am thankful for our cute place and for my mom and good people in my life.
However, I am not enlightened enough to appreciate it as much as I should. I am not so deeply spiritual that I can ascertain the bigger picture in all of the little dramas that compile my life. Or maybe I am on the road to figuring it out? I am writing this post tonight…
Here’s to your journey. May your relish the good and the bad and know how lucky you are too.