Sick of ‘Soccer Moms?’ Shoot, they are awesome. Tennis moms are the problem.

Soccer moms get a bad rap. Why? Perhaps because of their mini-vans or runs to Krispy Kreme to pass out to the team, or the perfectly packaged muffins that they have just freshly baked and they just wanted to “think of the team”. I don’t see the issue. Roomy car, yummy food, team spirit. What more can one ask for?

Tennis moms at the fancy shmancy tennis club don’t speak. Unless of course you are in their “crew”. The crew meaning-the kept women. The ones who have their lattes in their hands and they are complaining all of the time about what someone said to them or did to them. Their problems are endless. I really do feel for them. They drive away in their Range Rovers and I think how sad it is that they had to face the challenge of someone going up against them.

How sad for them that their coffee spilled on their 3rd Ipad or that they have to postpone their effing European trip by two months because their husband is so ‘swamped at work’. Mind you, they say this as loud as they possibly can so that those of us that are not as privileged are reminded that these chicks may be homely looking, but they are KEPT.

These women could care less how their kids like tennis. It is just the thing to do in their world. i never see them glance over at the courts. They sit in a semi-circle near me and talk so loudly that I have to make sure the BEATS system on my laptop is at a good level so that I don’t have to hear the obnoxious French that curly mop yells to her kid as he walks down the stairs. Yes lady, we get it! Your kid goes to French immersion school. You have been to Frahhhnce many times.

You all are cultured. Or are they? Are they posers? Do their husbands make their lives complete hell so they decide to spread their hellacious wealth where ever they may trod? Are they really happy? As my mom would say: “They probably did not grow up with a pot to pee in and a window to throw it out of”. Old southern outhouse speak.:)  

Anyway, yes I am bitter because I have little money right now and can’t find a full time job. I am a little ticked that I HAVE to work and all they do is plan the next vacation or tennis camp. I do feel a bit slighted because I am not part of the crowd (back to middle school antics again). 

But I really do not like these women. They are just not good people. I smile at them, they ignore me. But peep this-I look cute. Always. I may have my worn LL Bean tote with me and my old Bvlgari glasses with me, but I am put together. As put together as a mom that acts as an activity chauffeur can be. I have on my yummy Uggs, my Lucy skirt and a comfy yet stylish Gap V neck with a cute jean jacket.

My point is I am not in sweats with an old tee on. I do not even dress that way at home. I do not have a face full of makeup either. But I am usually in a cute dress or skirt. I always wear jewelry and I do not look like I rolled out of bed. I smile at everyone. I am polite. I smell good-always!

I am a threat to these ladies. I am more attractive and nicer and I think that they just don’t quite like me or accept me but they can’t figure out why. Or more likely, they just aren’t good enough people to care about people that are not versions of them. They also probably saw my SUV and it is American and not a luxury brand so that could have put me in a different category as well.

After recently visiting Chicago and witnessing the friendly behavior of people there, it makes me want to leave the wealthiest county in the US and kiss it goodbye. I love DC. I love the monuments. I love the weather. I love Virginia. But I really do not like the people. Point blank. Period. I love people at my church and people that I have known for 10 years here. But if I were to move here next week and meet some of these folks, i would probably not like some of my friends. I have just been here so long that I am used to their snobbery.

I love you DC, but your people need to go!


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