Is it really ALL or NOTHING?

Why is it that many times we settle or have nothing? That we stand for something or fall for anything? I feel that when I am my most authentic self, God does his magic. What is happening at the time may feel like anything but, but GOD’s plan if far greater than any plan that I could put into Word and Excel.

God removes people for a reason even when it hurts that they are no longer around. HE brings people in that are the most unlikely, or so we thought, to be the friends that we need. He clears out our personal gutters. It hurts to feel rejected or ignored, but aren’t those sometimes signs that we should not ignore? For instance in dating, if someone snubs us and doesn’t return a call, or ignores us or hurts us don’t we get pissed? So why put up with it for so long and so much in friendships and marriage? 

Sometimes I think that the loneliness factor is the reason. Facebook and blogs and other social outlets make us feel that we are empowered by large numbers. If we don’t get more than a certain number of birthday wishes then we must be failing in someway. Or if enough people do not read our blogs, or “like” our pictures. The electronic universe as turned lives of twenty to forty somethings into a gigantic middle school. There are so many lies floating around and embellishments so that someone can seem cool and wanted and important.

But is it all a guise? Or are there some people who have 800 friends on facebook and 50,000 followers on facebook something special? Are they lonely on their birthday like a lot of people or are they out with 100 of their closest friends being treated to a royal celebration? Do the numbers mean that these people hold a special trait that other people don’t get, can’t understand or aren’t “cool” enough to display?

I am one of the ones with the smaller amount of friends and likes. Part of it is because I like it that way and part of it is because I have not kept in close touch with people over the years because of moving or other reasons. Sometimes I feel like I should have a larger circle. Every time I try to expand it, I feel GOD pulling it back in again. 

My questions are: Is it to focus more on HIM? Is it so that I can have more quality in the circle of friends I have? Is it so that I can only be around people that have good hearts and whom are more Godly? 

It drives me crazy, because I just can’t figure out the sudden shifts in my life and in my relationships. I feel that something big is in store, but I hope it is big and positive. Something so wonderful that I will write it in all caps and I will be forgiven for just that one day. Please pray that this is true. I could use a fabulously holy miracle right about now in my life…

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