I don’t know if you all know that Alcoholics Anonymous uses the slogan, “Let Go and Let God”, but they do. I know because a boyfriend of mine used to belong and I went before. It was awkward being there when I was not “one” of them. The information that they shared was soooo deeply personal that I wanted to shrink into the size of a fly and go towards the window hoping for a way out. Anyway, that is totally off of the subject.:) My whole point in saying this whole thing is that AA has it right. One truly has to surrender to a higher power. That is “p.c.” for God.
That is what I am trying to do. I tend to jump head first into everything. It seems more like butt first though because often times I am not using my brain when saying yes. I got a job offer the other day (the pay was cruddy) and I was so desperate to have the money that I didn’t think it over. There are a lot of negatives about it. Distance, wage, etc. But I either think so little of myself for accepting whatever is thrown my way, or think very little of God by taking scraps of jobs like that is all that I deserve. Now I know that Jesus wants us to help ourselves and not sit on a throne and expect everything to be thrown our way. I get that. But He also wants us to give up a little. Not the way you think. He wants us to give up a little pride, give up a little uneasiness, give up worry, fear, and have…FAITH.
F-A-I-T-H. That is what this blog is all about right? Or it is supposed to be. But not just this blog. Love is about faith. Trust is about faith. Commitment is about faith. Hope is about faith. Joy (true Joy) is about faith. So why is it so hard? Is it because of the unseen that has us questioning or shaking in our boots? Because I can’t see Jesus in front of my face I just assume things won’t get done? Well, sometimes they will not. Sometimes they will and we think it took too long or was not on time. I am about to have some church up in here and tell you that the Lord is ALWAYS on time. I am not saying this because I always feel that. I am a doubter. I don’t doubt that Jesus exists, I just somehow believe that He isn’t always there when I need Him. Like maybe I am not important enough. Or worthy enough. Or good enough. Or pure enough. Or Christian enough.
Sometimes when I am at church, I feel like a fake and a phony. If you met me you would know that this could not be further than the truth. Perhaps because I went to one too many churches in the south growing up, maybe I feel like I am too worldly. Or too savvy. Or too fashionable. Like I am supposed to be long-suffering and repenting 24/7 or something. Maybe I am being a bit melodramatic or something. But I have people on my facebook who are Christian that watch Christian shows and listen to Chrisitian music and don’t use bad language. That is just not me.
I do love Christian movies that I have seen, though I have not seen many. I like gospel music a bunch. But I listen to top 40 and I watch chick flicks and action movies. I have a mouth like a sailor when talking to my ex or talking about him. I feel so ‘not perfect’. Then I realize that Jesus is the only perfect one to ever walk this earth. I know that I could do a whole bunch to clean up my spiritual life though and I am just not doing it. I mean I am no deviant or anything, but I don’t read the Bible enough or pray enough. I really am going to try to change that though.
See, I am worrying. I am not letting go. I from this moment on have no choice but to let go and let God because if I do not, my way sure as heck will not get me even close to perfection. It also will not give me true joy or a piece of mind, and things that are meant for me will not line up according to His plan. Many people do not realize or do not think about it, but Jesus does have a plan for our lives and even though He is all powerful, we can mess it up. He gives us free will and if we do not live a good Christian life, or strive to, God is not going to let us receive all of the many blessings he has stored up for us.
Why don’t you join me today and try to let go of ruling your own world and let God have a shake at it? I am going to do it. I will step out on faith because what have I got to lose? I think God knows what is best for me more than I do. Judging on my past experiences, I would say that His choices would likely serve me better than mine. Goodnight wordpress family. Time for me to chill and watch one of my hour long shows.
The weekend is around the corner!
Whether you’ve seen angels floating around your bedroom or just found a ray of hope at a lonely moment, choosing to believe that something unseen is caring for you can be a life-shifting exercise.